The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Part I

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Part I

Since I’ve decid­ed to rewatch The Melan­choly of Haruhi Suzu­miya for the 1000th time, I thought I might as well blog about it. And since I have most of the DVDs now, I thought I’d increase my e‑penis a bit by daz­zling you guys with DVD-qual­i­ty screen­shots. Can you say, escapism? Good.

I’ll also be doing it in chrono­log­i­cal order. Because, to be hon­est, I pre­fer it that way — the sto­ry flows much more smooth­ly com­pared to watch­ing it in the orig­i­nal broad­cast order (it was fun the first go around, though). Not to men­tion the fact that I can’t be assed to switch between DVDs while gath­er­ing up the screen­shots in order to sat­is­fy all your non­lin­ear needs.

Oh, and by the way, I’ve decid­ed to let Kyon guest-blog for the day. Go wild.

The class introduction

The episode begins with Kyon rant­i­ng about how he nev­er believed in San­ta Claus, and how he had always doubt­ed the exis­tence of a jol­ly old man who only worked on Christ­mas right on the spot. He admits, how­ev­er, that it took a while for him to real­ize that aliens, time trav­el­ers, and espers did­n’t real­ly exist because, maybe, he did­n’t want to real­ize it. I mean, they sound much more excit­ing com­pared to our bor­ing, nor­mal lives, right? But… now that he’s entered high school, he decid­ed long ago to put those child­hood fan­tasies behind him and set­tle on the nor­mal, school life in front of him, ground­ed into the laws of reality.

That is… until he met the strange, beau­ti­ful girl named Haruhi Suzu­miya. With her class­room intro­duc­tion of not want­i­ng to have any­thing to do with ordi­nary humans, but instead, want­i­ng to have aliens, time trav­el­ers, and espers meet her and have fun with her, he had no idea that at that moment, he would no longer be the ordi­nary high school boy he thought he was going to be.

Hon­est­ly, when Haruhi spout­ed that non­sense about not being inter­est­ed in ordi­nary humans, my reac­tion was this. Some would say that she was already out-of-this world for using that crap as a class intro­duc­tion… I would say she was just a crazy girl that hap­pened to sit behind me dur­ing school, but that would be an under­state­ment. If Haruhi were out-of-this-world, she would be what we call an alien, cor­rect? In a twist­ed way, it would be nice if that were true, since, oth­er­wise, being an alien her­self, she would­n’t have cre­at­ed… Well, I’ll share my com­ments when we get to that. I bet I’m bor­ing you rant­i­ng on and on about how wierd Haruhi is, which you’d prob­a­bly already know, right?

No, I'm not trying to hook up with her

Lat­er, Kyon’s sparkling curios­i­ty brings him to ask Haruhi if she was actu­al­ly seri­ous about the things she said in her intro­duc­tion, like the part about aliens and stuff. In reply to this, Haruhi asks him if he’s an alien. Sur­pris­ing­ly to us, he’s unfor­tu­nate­ly not. This rea­son alone is what Haruhi con­sid­ers a “waste of time” (like the only things that are pro­duc­tive in this world are grab­bing ran­dom bystanders and mak­ing them join a… I should stop). So much for that friend­ly conversation.

Kyon phails at talk­ing to girls

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Shut up. Talk­ing to Haruhi is like talk­ing to a brick wall. She just won’t lis­ten to you or even hear out your opin­ions unless you’re talk­ing about some­thing that actu­al­ly inter­ests her. And most of that stuff are things that only inter­ests her… and oth­er peo­ple that lack a lit­tle sanity.

Nah, you just phail at talk­ing to girls.

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This is com­ing from a guy who’s spend­ing his vaca­tion play­ing video games, going on the inter­net, and watch­ing ani­me — hav­ing no signs of female con­tact aside from his moth­er and his 2 year old sister.

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That’s what I thought.

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Taniguchi. That idiot.

Lat­er on, Kyon finds out that some of his class­mates have gone to school with Haruhi dur­ing Junior High. They had tried to talk to, and even befriend, Haruhi already. Unfor­tu­nate­ly, they all failed due to Haruhi’s inabil­i­ty to social­ize nor­mal­ly with­out emo­tion­al­ly scar­ing some­one in some way. Taniguchi, a fel­low class­mate of Kyon’s, tells him that if he has the hots for Suzu­miya (Haha­ha­ha­ha­ha. Ha.), he’d bet­ter just stop right there (like he was even going some­where!). Taniguchi says that Haruhi is what’s nor­mal­ly called a “weirdo”. The most notable inci­dent that hap­pened because of her “weird­ness” was some­thing that made it into the paper (which Kuniki­da had recalled read­ing) — paint­ing a big, strange hiero­glyph-look­ing pic­ture on the school­yard using a field line mark­er (seri­ous­ly, Taniguchi, not a hard word… words to remem­ber…). He, how­ev­er, admits that Haruhi’s not too hard to look at (can’t argue with that…) and because of this: many guys have asked her out. She’s nev­er turned down a guy, but nev­er stayed with one either due to her dis­in­ter­est in “ordi­nary humans”. One sap only last­ed 5 min­utes with her. Poor Taniguchi, his ego must’ve been pret­ty hurt.

It’s real­ly annoy­ing how peo­ple auto­mat­i­cal­ly assume that if a guy shows some inter­est in a girl, it just has to be roman­tic. Not all of us are psy­cho­log­i­cal­ly dri­ven by hor­mones, Taniguchi!

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Ryouko Asakura. Nice girl? I don't really think so anymore.

Taniguchi also notes, with his hor­mones filled with pride, that the only fresh­man girl worth going after is Ryouko Asaku­ra. He had appar­ent­ly ranked every fresh­man girl in the school since the school year start­ed, and he gave Ms. Asaku­ra a AA+ (I have to admit though, she seemed like a nice, pret­ty girl who showed SOME sense of lead­er­ship skills, unlike a cer­tain SOMEBODY whom I won’t men­tion, at first… *shiv­ers*).

Haruhi seemed sort of nor­mal then, but as the days past, Kyon start­ed to notice that she seemed to exhib­it some strange traits that became more and more frequent.

I have to admit, I liked her long hair. Especially when it was tied in a ponytail

Exhib­it #1 As the days go by, the num­ber of rib­bons on her hair would increase, reset­ting itself each time the week ends.

Exhib­it #2 Dur­ing PE, when every­one’s sup­posed to change, Haruhi would open­ly strip her­self of all her cloth­ing right in the mid­dle of class, act­ing as if the males in the class­room were noth­ing but a bunch of mere pota­toes to her. Nat­u­ral­ly, there’d be some per­vert­ed boys in the class who would like to see that kind of action. Luck­i­ly, Ms. Asaku­ra drove them all out of the class­room when­ev­er Haruhi start­ed to change. The males seemed to have built sort of a habit of leav­ing the class­room when Haruhi starts to change, or thus endure the wrath of Ryouko Asakura.

Exhib­it #3 Haruhi would join all sorts of clubs, depend­ing on her mood, but she would nev­er stay put in any one of them. Since she has all sorts of ath­let­ic abil­i­ties, the sports clubs would kill to have her join, but she turned every sin­gle one of them down. What the hell does this girl real­ly want?

On one ran­dom day, Wednes­day to be pre­cise, Kyon sar­cas­ti­cal­ly asks Haruhi if her ever-chang­ing hair­style is some rit­u­al to ward off alien invaders. Sur­prised, she asks him how long has he noticed this. “A while ago”. What’s this? Kyon actu­al­ly invoked a con­ver­sa­tion between Haruhi and him­self, and Haruhi actu­al­ly gives him a half-decent answer rather than telling him to buzz off?!

A day lat­er, Kyon finds that Haruhi has trimmed her hair slight­ly and is now wear­ing a gold-col­ored rib­bon. Cut­ting her hair after the day he made his com­ment… it’s a lit­tle rash, don’t you think?

I’d say Haruhi cer­tain­ly has her hair going for her, com­pli­ment­ing her undy­ing beau-

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. And I’d say you’re nuts. Seri­ous­ly, did you just ran­dom­ly pop in just to tell us that?

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… I have noth­ing more to say.

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Seriously, for the last time. I'm not trying to get onto her.

After that, Haruhi became a lot more open. Talk­ing to Haruhi before class start­ed had become some sort of a rit­u­al for Kyon. When Kyon asks Haruhi a rather per­son­al ques­tion, such as if the rumors about her dump­ing every guy she’s ever gone out with were true, Haruhi, with an annoyed expres­sion, shrugs it off by say­ing that it’s prob­a­bly true because every guy she’s gone out with were stu­pid — nei­ther one of them was either an alien, time trav­el­er, or had any cool pow­ers. In reply, Kyon asks Haruhi if she would want to go out with an alien or some­thing. Haruhi answers by say­ing that’s true, and as long the per­son isn’t a human she does­n’t care if it’s a boy or a girl (please, let’s just stop right there). Kyon won­ders what’s so wrong about peo­ple being human. Haruhi’s last answer for the day is that if every­one was either an alien, time trav­el­er, or an esper, life would be more interesting.

Now, I did­n’t argue with Haruhi that life would­n’t be more inter­est­ing if there were aliens. time trav­el­ers, slid­ers, and espers. But hon­est­ly, I’d rather be mar­ried to a beau­ti­ful girl that’s com­plete­ly human rather than to have a gigan­tic alien orgy of some sort.

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Everyone's turning into idiots.

No doubt about it, I real­ly want­ed to punch Kuniki­da in the stom­ach for that remark about me lik­ing weird girls, “the weird­er, the bet­ter” (oh lord, how I seri­ous­ly hate how that opin­ion of me got started).

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A moment of hope.

When it was time to change the seat­ing arrange­ment, Kyon got the sec­ond-to-last seat in the back next to the win­dow. Now, to him it would’ve been an awe­some seat. However…

Haruhi, once again, got the seat right behind him. Coincidence?

No doubt about it, my fel­low kind and loy­al class­mates rigged the seat­ing arrange­ments in some sort of way in order for me to con­tin­ue being their main source of com­mu­ni­ca­tion with Haruhi. Seri­ous­ly, the things I talk to her about are pret­ty ran­dom… Sure­ly, you guys can do the same thing, right? Right?

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Haruhi, being melancholic. OH, SO THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED THAT.

When Kyon asks Haruhi if there were any inter­est­ing clubs that she’s joined at school, Haruhi replies by say­ing “Absolute­ly none”. She com­ments that even thought there are almost a dozen school clubs, there isn’t even one strange and cool one out there.

Kyon tries to con­vince Haruhi that ordi­nary peo­ple are bet­ter off liv­ing out their ordi­nary lives in an ordi­nary envi­ron­ment, and says that the only peo­ple who escaped that were peo­ple who want­ed to do some­thing about their ideas. And the peo­ple who did that were peo­ple who invent­ed things and changed the world. Peo­ple invent­ed air­planes because they want­ed to fly. Peo­ple invent­ed cars because they want­ed to trav­el from place to place.

After Kyon shared his opin­ion, Haruhi tells him to shut up.

Obvi­ous­ly, it did­n’t work.

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Why do you all love to abuse me so?

Maybe it was that very con­ver­sa­tion that sparked that very idea… Lat­er in class, as Kyon was near­ly falling asleep, Haruhi pulls his chair back caus­ing his head to hit the front of her desks. Haruhi exclaims that she has an idea, she’s going to make a club. Kyon says that’s nice and all… but they’re in the mid­dle of class.

Ugh, I thought I was going to die of head trauma.

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You had it lucky. Girls did the exact same thing all through my ele­men­tary school. It hap­pened to me once. I was­n’t the same since.
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You’re telling me that was a nat­ur­al occur­rence dur­ing ele­men­tary school?! Of course, that would explain…
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You can shut the hell up now. ;/

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Really, Haruhi looks like a sex offender here.

After class, Haruhi grabbed Kyon and rushed down the hall­way all the way to the rooftop entrance. Force­ful­ly grab­bing his tie, as if being bul­lied out of his lunch mon­ey, she tells him that he’ll be help­ing her start their new club (Iron­ic word­ing. See­ing as I did­n’t have a say in the mat­ter and I did­n’t even know what the club was about, “their” isn’t real­ly the cor­rect word to use).

Oh, did I men­tion that my feet were mag­i­cal­ly off the ground when Haruhi pulled against my hand across the halls? I thought I was going to throw up, which I should have prob­a­bly done. On Haruhi.

Some­times I wish she’d put her ath­let­ic abil­i­ties to good use instead of using it to make our lives even harder…

Home sweet home. Not.

After read­ing the stu­dent hand­book on the things required to start a club, Kyom is once again dragged all the way around the school by Haruhi, now being escort­ed to their “new” clu­b­room. Appar­ent­ly, she’s “bor­row­ing” the Lit­er­ary Club’s room and treat­ing the only mem­ber, the qui­et and artif­i­cal-look­ing girl named Yuki Naga­to who obvi­ous­ly loved to read, as an acces­so­ry that came with a room. Of course, she appeared to have no prob­lem with Haruhi tak­ing over the room.

My sin­cere con­do­lences to the peo­ple who actu­al­ly want­ed to join the Lit­er­ary Club some time in the future this year…
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Oh, I think I just came to heaven...

Haruhi seemed to have dis­ap­peared all through recess soon after she made an eccen­tric burst out of the class­room when the school bell rang. It appears that she was trail­ing the school, look­ing for new mem­bers. She hap­pened to catch a junior doz­ing off in class and vol­un­tar­i­ly arrest­ed her (more like “kid­napped”). Her name was Miku­ru Asahi­na, and she was  supris­ing­ly beau­ti­ful, adorable, and very sooth­ing to look at… (Ahhh…)

Oh, stop that. You're teasing me.

Haruhi told Kyon that the rea­son she picked Miku­ru to join the club was because of her moé appeal (Basi­cal­ly, Haruhi thought she was cute, and well endowed. Now, I could­n’t argue with her there…), she was going to be the club’s mas­cot. Haruhi then con­tin­ued to prove her point by grop­ing Ms. Asahi­na’s breats.

Ms. Asahi­na’s face looked so allur­ing while her face was cow­er­ing in fear. Sor­ry, I could­n’t help but enjoy myself! How­ev­er, being an actu­al, sane human being, I broke up the grope-fest before Haruhi got to her skirt.
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No one cares.

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I guess Haruhi's reads manga for escapism, then...?

As you can see, I can do par­o­dies too! Haruhi is epic win.

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No one cares.

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I made /facepalm famous. Should I be proud of that?

After see­ing Ms. Naga­to, Ms. Asahi­na seemed to show a lit­tle intrigue. All of a sud­den, she agreed to quit the Cal­lig­ra­phy Club and join Haruhi’s. Kyon explained what the club was about (which was the fact that he knew noth­ing about it). They haven’t even come up with a name yet!

Oh wait…

Haruhi cuts in and says she’s already thought up of a name.

May I have your atten­tion. please? The name of the here­to for name­less start-up club has just been decid­ed and it’s name is: THE SOS BRIGADE! “The Spread­ing Excite­ment All Over The World With Haruhi Suzu­miya Brigade”. Please, you can all shoot us now…

At that moment, all hope was lost.

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At that moment, the “real” fun was about to begin.

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Next Episode

Ahhhhh... Bunny suit Ms. Asahina.

Watch it.

10 thoughts on “The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Part I

  1. The post is so god­damn huge. And only one episode.

    I guess that recent forum thread inspired ya, huh?

    I’ll get around to reply­ing to this lat­er, fo’ sure.

  2. @Hel­lKo­rn: Kyon is one hell of a ram­bler. Blame him, not me, HK. 😛

    Actu­al­ly, I was just begin­ning to re-watch some of my Haruhi DVDs WHEN the forum thread was start­ed. Of course, it was­n’t until then that I decid­ed to blog it. 

    … Of course, it took me long enough. Can’t have an ani­me blog with­out blog­ging Haruhi.

  3. Ah, nice coin­ci­dence, then.

    I’m actu­al­ly replac­ing my LE DVDs with the REs (thanks to sales and eBay), just because I real­ize that broad­cast order is essen­tial­ly use­less after the first viewing.

    Quick obser­va­tions: What is that Engr­ish on the seat arrange­ment? I find it amus­ing that the biggest plot point in the sto­ry is dropped in the “first episode.”

    Also, should­n’t you have start­ed with episode 00?

    (Analy­sis later.)

  4. @Hel­lKo­rn: Oh my, that slice of Engr­ish looks like it says “Who gets do”… Who get us do? Who get is do? Who gets down? OH LOL.

    I’m plan­ning on doing episode 00 last, or maybe skip it entire­ly (I’m hop­ing to do the for­mer). I want to avoid Miku­ru’s annoy­ing song for as long as I can (quite a shame that a text­less ver­sion of THAT open­ing is part of the spe­cial fea­tures on the first DVD rather than the actu­al one… Oh well, if the fans want it, I suppose…).

  5. - John­ny out-Kyons Kyon at points.

    - “Unfor­tu­nate­ly, they all failed due to Haruhi’s inabil­i­ty to social­ize nor­mal­ly with­out emo­tion­al­ly scar­ring some­one in some way.”

    Fixed.

    - “Kyon won­ders what’s so wrong about peo­ple being human. Haruhi’s last answer for the day is that if every­one was either an alien, time trav­el­er, or an esper, life would be more interesting.”

    Except the abnor­mal becom­ing com­mon­place would make the abnor­mal cease to be and become normal.

    A time­less truth, sure, but it’s some­thing I thought about when dri­ving today. I thought to myself if Colum­bus, Ohio would be more prefer­able with year-round snow, and real­ized that the snow­fall is so beau­ti­ful because it’s a rarity.

    - Kyon insti­gates every sin­gle plot devel­op­ment in the series. God needs a muse, after all (or is it the oth­er way around?).

  6. @Hel­lKo­rn: — I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. 🙁
    — Eh, HK’s such a gram­mar natzee. D;
    — Kind of a bad choice of word­ing on my part, espe­cial­ly since the very point you brought up was brought up by Koizu­mi lat­er in the series. Haruhi would even­tu­al­ly become bored if every­one was a super­nat­ur­al being and would inevitably destroy that world too.
    — In Haruhi’s case, that would be correct. 😛

  7. - A good thing. I think. Probably.

    - Naw, because Haruhi would scar the guys for live. Taniguchi does­n’t even know how to approach girls any­more because of her.

    - On that note, Itsu­ki is my favorite of the sup­port­ing cast. He’s more forth-com­ing with his per­son­al­i­ty and infor­ma­tion, which makes it eas­i­er for not only Kyon to com­plain con­verse with him, but also the audi­ence to under­stand him.

    - She must’ve been bored for many years.

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