The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Part I

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Part I

Since I’ve decid­ed to rewatch The Melan­choly of Haruhi Suzu­miya for the 1000th time, I thought I might as well blog about it. And since I have most of the DVDs now, I thought I’d increase my e‑penis a bit by daz­zling you guys with DVD-qual­i­ty screen­shots. Can you say, escapism? Good.

I’ll also be doing it in chrono­log­i­cal order. Because, to be hon­est, I pre­fer it that way — the sto­ry flows much more smooth­ly com­pared to watch­ing it in the orig­i­nal broad­cast order (it was fun the first go around, though). Not to men­tion the fact that I can’t be assed to switch between DVDs while gath­er­ing up the screen­shots in order to sat­is­fy all your non­lin­ear needs.

Oh, and by the way, I’ve decid­ed to let Kyon guest-blog for the day. Go wild.

The class introduction

The episode begins with Kyon rant­i­ng about how he nev­er believed in San­ta Claus, and how he had always doubt­ed the exis­tence of a jol­ly old man who only worked on Christ­mas right on the spot. He admits, how­ev­er, that it took a while for him to real­ize that aliens, time trav­el­ers, and espers did­n’t real­ly exist because, maybe, he did­n’t want to real­ize it. I mean, they sound much more excit­ing com­pared to our bor­ing, nor­mal lives, right? But… now that he’s entered high school, he decid­ed long ago to put those child­hood fan­tasies behind him and set­tle on the nor­mal, school life in front of him, ground­ed into the laws of reality.

That is… until he met the strange, beau­ti­ful girl named Haruhi Suzu­miya. With her class­room intro­duc­tion of not want­i­ng to have any­thing to do with ordi­nary humans, but instead, want­i­ng to have aliens, time trav­el­ers, and espers meet her and have fun with her, he had no idea that at that moment, he would no longer be the ordi­nary high school boy he thought he was going to be.

Hon­est­ly, when Haruhi spout­ed that non­sense about not being inter­est­ed in ordi­nary humans, my reac­tion was this. Some would say that she was already out-of-this world for using that crap as a class intro­duc­tion… I would say she was just a crazy girl that hap­pened to sit behind me dur­ing school, but that would be an under­state­ment. If Haruhi were out-of-this-world, she would be what we call an alien, cor­rect? In a twist­ed way, it would be nice if that were true, since, oth­er­wise, being an alien her­self, she would­n’t have cre­at­ed… Well, I’ll share my com­ments when we get to that. I bet I’m bor­ing you rant­i­ng on and on about how wierd Haruhi is, which you’d prob­a­bly already know, right?

No, I'm not trying to hook up with her

Lat­er, Kyon’s sparkling curios­i­ty brings him to ask Haruhi if she was actu­al­ly seri­ous about the things she said in her intro­duc­tion, like the part about aliens and stuff. In reply to this, Haruhi asks him if he’s an alien. Sur­pris­ing­ly to us, he’s unfor­tu­nate­ly not. This rea­son alone is what Haruhi con­sid­ers a “waste of time” (like the only things that are pro­duc­tive in this world are grab­bing ran­dom bystanders and mak­ing them join a… I should stop). So much for that friend­ly conversation.

Kyon phails at talk­ing to girls



Shut up. Talk­ing to Haruhi is like talk­ing to a brick wall. She just won’t lis­ten to you or even hear out your opin­ions unless you’re talk­ing about some­thing that actu­al­ly inter­ests her. And most of that stuff are things that only inter­ests her… and oth­er peo­ple that lack a lit­tle sanity.

Nah, you just phail at talk­ing to girls.



This is com­ing from a guy who’s spend­ing his vaca­tion play­ing video games, going on the inter­net, and watch­ing ani­me — hav­ing no signs of female con­tact aside from his moth­er and his 2 year old sister.




That’s what I thought.



Taniguchi. That idiot.

Lat­er on, Kyon finds out that some of his class­mates have gone to school with Haruhi dur­ing Junior High. They had tried to talk to, and even befriend, Haruhi already. Unfor­tu­nate­ly, they all failed due to Haruhi’s inabil­i­ty to social­ize nor­mal­ly with­out emo­tion­al­ly scar­ing some­one in some way. Taniguchi, a fel­low class­mate of Kyon’s, tells him that if he has the hots for Suzu­miya (Haha­ha­ha­ha­ha. Ha.), he’d bet­ter just stop right there (like he was even going some­where!). Taniguchi says that Haruhi is what’s nor­mal­ly called a “weirdo”. The most notable inci­dent that hap­pened because of her “weird­ness” was some­thing that made it into the paper (which Kuniki­da had recalled read­ing) — paint­ing a big, strange hiero­glyph-look­ing pic­ture on the school­yard using a field line mark­er (seri­ous­ly, Taniguchi, not a hard word… words to remem­ber…). He, how­ev­er, admits that Haruhi’s not too hard to look at (can’t argue with that…) and because of this: many guys have asked her out. She’s nev­er turned down a guy, but nev­er stayed with one either due to her dis­in­ter­est in “ordi­nary humans”. One sap only last­ed 5 min­utes with her. Poor Taniguchi, his ego must’ve been pret­ty hurt.

It’s real­ly annoy­ing how peo­ple auto­mat­i­cal­ly assume that if a guy shows some inter­est in a girl, it just has to be roman­tic. Not all of us are psy­cho­log­i­cal­ly dri­ven by hor­mones, Taniguchi!


Ryouko Asakura. Nice girl? I don't really think so anymore.

Taniguchi also notes, with his hor­mones filled with pride, that the only fresh­man girl worth going after is Ryouko Asaku­ra. He had appar­ent­ly ranked every fresh­man girl in the school since the school year start­ed, and he gave Ms. Asaku­ra a AA+ (I have to admit though, she seemed like a nice, pret­ty girl who showed SOME sense of lead­er­ship skills, unlike a cer­tain SOMEBODY whom I won’t men­tion, at first… *shiv­ers*).

Haruhi seemed sort of nor­mal then, but as the days past, Kyon start­ed to notice that she seemed to exhib­it some strange traits that became more and more frequent.

I have to admit, I liked her long hair. Especially when it was tied in a ponytail

Exhib­it #1 As the days go by, the num­ber of rib­bons on her hair would increase, reset­ting itself each time the week ends.

Exhib­it #2 Dur­ing PE, when every­one’s sup­posed to change, Haruhi would open­ly strip her­self of all her cloth­ing right in the mid­dle of class, act­ing as if the males in the class­room were noth­ing but a bunch of mere pota­toes to her. Nat­u­ral­ly, there’d be some per­vert­ed boys in the class who would like to see that kind of action. Luck­i­ly, Ms. Asaku­ra drove them all out of the class­room when­ev­er Haruhi start­ed to change. The males seemed to have built sort of a habit of leav­ing the class­room when Haruhi starts to change, or thus endure the wrath of Ryouko Asakura.

Exhib­it #3 Haruhi would join all sorts of clubs, depend­ing on her mood, but she would nev­er stay put in any one of them. Since she has all sorts of ath­let­ic abil­i­ties, the sports clubs would kill to have her join, but she turned every sin­gle one of them down. What the hell does this girl real­ly want?

On one ran­dom day, Wednes­day to be pre­cise, Kyon sar­cas­ti­cal­ly asks Haruhi if her ever-chang­ing hair­style is some rit­u­al to ward off alien invaders. Sur­prised, she asks him how long has he noticed this. “A while ago”. What’s this? Kyon actu­al­ly invoked a con­ver­sa­tion between Haruhi and him­self, and Haruhi actu­al­ly gives him a half-decent answer rather than telling him to buzz off?!

A day lat­er, Kyon finds that Haruhi has trimmed her hair slight­ly and is now wear­ing a gold-col­ored rib­bon. Cut­ting her hair after the day he made his com­ment… it’s a lit­tle rash, don’t you think?

I’d say Haruhi cer­tain­ly has her hair going for her, com­pli­ment­ing her undy­ing beau-


. And I’d say you’re nuts. Seri­ous­ly, did you just ran­dom­ly pop in just to tell us that?



… I have noth­ing more to say.



Seriously, for the last time. I'm not trying to get onto her.

After that, Haruhi became a lot more open. Talk­ing to Haruhi before class start­ed had become some sort of a rit­u­al for Kyon. When Kyon asks Haruhi a rather per­son­al ques­tion, such as if the rumors about her dump­ing every guy she’s ever gone out with were true, Haruhi, with an annoyed expres­sion, shrugs it off by say­ing that it’s prob­a­bly true because every guy she’s gone out with were stu­pid — nei­ther one of them was either an alien, time trav­el­er, or had any cool pow­ers. In reply, Kyon asks Haruhi if she would want to go out with an alien or some­thing. Haruhi answers by say­ing that’s true, and as long the per­son isn’t a human she does­n’t care if it’s a boy or a girl (please, let’s just stop right there). Kyon won­ders what’s so wrong about peo­ple being human. Haruhi’s last answer for the day is that if every­one was either an alien, time trav­el­er, or an esper, life would be more interesting.

Now, I did­n’t argue with Haruhi that life would­n’t be more inter­est­ing if there were aliens. time trav­el­ers, slid­ers, and espers. But hon­est­ly, I’d rather be mar­ried to a beau­ti­ful girl that’s com­plete­ly human rather than to have a gigan­tic alien orgy of some sort.


Everyone's turning into idiots.

No doubt about it, I real­ly want­ed to punch Kuniki­da in the stom­ach for that remark about me lik­ing weird girls, “the weird­er, the bet­ter” (oh lord, how I seri­ous­ly hate how that opin­ion of me got started).


A moment of hope.

When it was time to change the seat­ing arrange­ment, Kyon got the sec­ond-to-last seat in the back next to the win­dow. Now, to him it would’ve been an awe­some seat. However…

Haruhi, once again, got the seat right behind him. Coincidence?

No doubt about it, my fel­low kind and loy­al class­mates rigged the seat­ing arrange­ments in some sort of way in order for me to con­tin­ue being their main source of com­mu­ni­ca­tion with Haruhi. Seri­ous­ly, the things I talk to her about are pret­ty ran­dom… Sure­ly, you guys can do the same thing, right? Right?

Haruhi, being melancholic. OH, SO THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED THAT.

When Kyon asks Haruhi if there were any inter­est­ing clubs that she’s joined at school, Haruhi replies by say­ing “Absolute­ly none”. She com­ments that even thought there are almost a dozen school clubs, there isn’t even one strange and cool one out there.

Kyon tries to con­vince Haruhi that ordi­nary peo­ple are bet­ter off liv­ing out their ordi­nary lives in an ordi­nary envi­ron­ment, and says that the only peo­ple who escaped that were peo­ple who want­ed to do some­thing about their ideas. And the peo­ple who did that were peo­ple who invent­ed things and changed the world. Peo­ple invent­ed air­planes because they want­ed to fly. Peo­ple invent­ed cars because they want­ed to trav­el from place to place.

After Kyon shared his opin­ion, Haruhi tells him to shut up.

Obvi­ous­ly, it did­n’t work.



Why do you all love to abuse me so?

Maybe it was that very con­ver­sa­tion that sparked that very idea… Lat­er in class, as Kyon was near­ly falling asleep, Haruhi pulls his chair back caus­ing his head to hit the front of her desks. Haruhi exclaims that she has an idea, she’s going to make a club. Kyon says that’s nice and all… but they’re in the mid­dle of class.

Ugh, I thought I was going to die of head trauma.



You had it lucky. Girls did the exact same thing all through my ele­men­tary school. It hap­pened to me once. I was­n’t the same since.


You’re telling me that was a nat­ur­al occur­rence dur­ing ele­men­tary school?! Of course, that would explain…


You can shut the hell up now. ;/



Really, Haruhi looks like a sex offender here.

After class, Haruhi grabbed Kyon and rushed down the hall­way all the way to the rooftop entrance. Force­ful­ly grab­bing his tie, as if being bul­lied out of his lunch mon­ey, she tells him that he’ll be help­ing her start their new club (Iron­ic word­ing. See­ing as I did­n’t have a say in the mat­ter and I did­n’t even know what the club was about, “their” isn’t real­ly the cor­rect word to use).

Oh, did I men­tion that my feet were mag­i­cal­ly off the ground when Haruhi pulled against my hand across the halls? I thought I was going to throw up, which I should have prob­a­bly done. On Haruhi.

Some­times I wish she’d put her ath­let­ic abil­i­ties to good use instead of using it to make our lives even harder…

Home sweet home. Not.

After read­ing the stu­dent hand­book on the things required to start a club, Kyom is once again dragged all the way around the school by Haruhi, now being escort­ed to their “new” clu­b­room. Appar­ent­ly, she’s “bor­row­ing” the Lit­er­ary Club’s room and treat­ing the only mem­ber, the qui­et and artif­i­cal-look­ing girl named Yuki Naga­to who obvi­ous­ly loved to read, as an acces­so­ry that came with a room. Of course, she appeared to have no prob­lem with Haruhi tak­ing over the room.

My sin­cere con­do­lences to the peo­ple who actu­al­ly want­ed to join the Lit­er­ary Club some time in the future this year…


Oh, I think I just came to heaven...

Haruhi seemed to have dis­ap­peared all through recess soon after she made an eccen­tric burst out of the class­room when the school bell rang. It appears that she was trail­ing the school, look­ing for new mem­bers. She hap­pened to catch a junior doz­ing off in class and vol­un­tar­i­ly arrest­ed her (more like “kid­napped”). Her name was Miku­ru Asahi­na, and she was  supris­ing­ly beau­ti­ful, adorable, and very sooth­ing to look at… (Ahhh…)

Oh, stop that. You're teasing me.

Haruhi told Kyon that the rea­son she picked Miku­ru to join the club was because of her moé appeal (Basi­cal­ly, Haruhi thought she was cute, and well endowed. Now, I could­n’t argue with her there…), she was going to be the club’s mas­cot. Haruhi then con­tin­ued to prove her point by grop­ing Ms. Asahi­na’s breats.

Ms. Asahi­na’s face looked so allur­ing while her face was cow­er­ing in fear. Sor­ry, I could­n’t help but enjoy myself! How­ev­er, being an actu­al, sane human being, I broke up the grope-fest before Haruhi got to her skirt.

No one cares.



I guess Haruhi's reads manga for escapism, then...?

As you can see, I can do par­o­dies too! Haruhi is epic win.



No one cares.



I made /facepalm famous. Should I be proud of that?

After see­ing Ms. Naga­to, Ms. Asahi­na seemed to show a lit­tle intrigue. All of a sud­den, she agreed to quit the Cal­lig­ra­phy Club and join Haruhi’s. Kyon explained what the club was about (which was the fact that he knew noth­ing about it). They haven’t even come up with a name yet!

Oh wait…

Haruhi cuts in and says she’s already thought up of a name.

May I have your atten­tion. please? The name of the here­to for name­less start-up club has just been decid­ed and it’s name is: THE SOS BRIGADE! “The Spread­ing Excite­ment All Over The World With Haruhi Suzu­miya Brigade”. Please, you can all shoot us now…

At that moment, all hope was lost.



At that moment, the “real” fun was about to begin.



Next Episode

Ahhhhh... Bunny suit Ms. Asahina.

Watch it.

10 thoughts on “The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Part I

  1. The post is so god­damn huge. And only one episode.

    I guess that recent forum thread inspired ya, huh?

    I’ll get around to reply­ing to this lat­er, fo’ sure.

  2. @Hel­lKo­rn: Kyon is one hell of a ram­bler. Blame him, not me, HK. 😛

    Actu­al­ly, I was just begin­ning to re-watch some of my Haruhi DVDs WHEN the forum thread was start­ed. Of course, it was­n’t until then that I decid­ed to blog it. 

    … Of course, it took me long enough. Can’t have an ani­me blog with­out blog­ging Haruhi.

  3. Ah, nice coin­ci­dence, then.

    I’m actu­al­ly replac­ing my LE DVDs with the REs (thanks to sales and eBay), just because I real­ize that broad­cast order is essen­tial­ly use­less after the first viewing.

    Quick obser­va­tions: What is that Engr­ish on the seat arrange­ment? I find it amus­ing that the biggest plot point in the sto­ry is dropped in the “first episode.”

    Also, should­n’t you have start­ed with episode 00?

    (Analy­sis later.)

  4. @Hel­lKo­rn: Oh my, that slice of Engr­ish looks like it says “Who gets do”… Who get us do? Who get is do? Who gets down? OH LOL.

    I’m plan­ning on doing episode 00 last, or maybe skip it entire­ly (I’m hop­ing to do the for­mer). I want to avoid Miku­ru’s annoy­ing song for as long as I can (quite a shame that a text­less ver­sion of THAT open­ing is part of the spe­cial fea­tures on the first DVD rather than the actu­al one… Oh well, if the fans want it, I suppose…).

  5. - John­ny out-Kyons Kyon at points.

    - “Unfor­tu­nate­ly, they all failed due to Haruhi’s inabil­i­ty to social­ize nor­mal­ly with­out emo­tion­al­ly scar­ring some­one in some way.”


    - “Kyon won­ders what’s so wrong about peo­ple being human. Haruhi’s last answer for the day is that if every­one was either an alien, time trav­el­er, or an esper, life would be more interesting.”

    Except the abnor­mal becom­ing com­mon­place would make the abnor­mal cease to be and become normal.

    A time­less truth, sure, but it’s some­thing I thought about when dri­ving today. I thought to myself if Colum­bus, Ohio would be more prefer­able with year-round snow, and real­ized that the snow­fall is so beau­ti­ful because it’s a rarity.

    - Kyon insti­gates every sin­gle plot devel­op­ment in the series. God needs a muse, after all (or is it the oth­er way around?).

  6. @Hel­lKo­rn: — I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. 🙁
    — Eh, HK’s such a gram­mar natzee. D;
    — Kind of a bad choice of word­ing on my part, espe­cial­ly since the very point you brought up was brought up by Koizu­mi lat­er in the series. Haruhi would even­tu­al­ly become bored if every­one was a super­nat­ur­al being and would inevitably destroy that world too.
    — In Haruhi’s case, that would be correct. 😛

  7. - A good thing. I think. Probably.

    - Naw, because Haruhi would scar the guys for live. Taniguchi does­n’t even know how to approach girls any­more because of her.

    - On that note, Itsu­ki is my favorite of the sup­port­ing cast. He’s more forth-com­ing with his per­son­al­i­ty and infor­ma­tion, which makes it eas­i­er for not only Kyon to com­plain con­verse with him, but also the audi­ence to under­stand him.

    - She must’ve been bored for many years.

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